shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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