I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize