So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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