it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
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I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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