I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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