when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize