if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize