Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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