his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize