What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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