I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize