Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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