so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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