the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were trust falling into bushes
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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