dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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