I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize