i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
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Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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