WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
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Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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