It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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