too bad you live with your parents still
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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