I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize