Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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