you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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