It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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