If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize