Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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