ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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