Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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