On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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