Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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