good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
