Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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