So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize