In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize