She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize