why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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