dude i'm inner monologue high
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
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I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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