So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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