shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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