Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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