i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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