Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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