haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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