dude i'm inner monologue high
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize