office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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