Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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