he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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