Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
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i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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