Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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