Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i was like PREG?

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  (312): i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?' (312): i was like PREG? http://tfl.nu/r2o4
  Replies (9) Good night (786) Bad night (1040)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty

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  (518): I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty http://tfl.nu/4081
  Replies (5) Good night (630) Bad night (1423) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  Thanks dad.

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  (810): Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game. (1-810): Thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/ga57
  Replies (24) Good night (968) Bad night (4528) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.

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  (317): It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English. http://tfl.nu/xp6b
  Replies (5) Good night (3597) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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  (908): Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time. http://tfl.nu/kf31
  Replies (11) Good night (818) Bad night (4263) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month

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  (715): isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month http://tfl.nu/ybux
  Replies (10) Good night (5369) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.

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  (512): He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests. http://tfl.nu/eem8
  Replies (20) Good night (1865) Bad night (4869) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.

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  (651): pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there. http://tfl.nu/jyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (2793) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave

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  (575): I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave http://tfl.nu/cqqt
  Replies (21) Good night (3300) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.

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  (530): I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out. http://tfl.nu/bpyp
  Replies (14) Good night (564) Bad night (1622)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.

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  (832): Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person. http://tfl.nu/f02c
  Replies (7) Good night (714) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.

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  (717): Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character. http://tfl.nu/xf1x
  Replies (11) Good night (637) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?

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  (408): Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection? http://tfl.nu/3s68
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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  (214): This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family. http://tfl.nu/r35r
  Replies (4) Good night (222) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time

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  (226): No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time http://tfl.nu/rgly
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt

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