Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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